Clueless asked:


I have lost contact with my husband over the past 2 years. I want to file a divorce and move on. Can the courts grant a divorce without the other spouse being present or contacted?

IRA

Low Jeremy asked:


Every Wisconsin child custody lawyer knows that this is one of the cases where people are likely to do things that they have not done before or thought they are not capable of. With divorce and child custody cases not having the satisfactory results that they should have, parents turn to desperate means of getting their children back.

For sure, you do not want these things to happen. Not only will it have negative effects on your child, it will also cause you more trouble than you originally have. The best and the only solution for this problem is to avail of the services of good Wisconsin child custody lawyer.

Lawyers in Wisconsin are already aware of the fact that parents tend to kidnap their children and take them as far away from the other parent as possible one their child custody case has not been served well. This is the only way to do it because these parents know that their children are better off with them.

Sometimes the law is not always in favor of those who want to win. As they say, you can never win them all. But if you have a Wisconsin child custody lawyer to help you in the proceedings, then you will realize that whatever decision the court have made is what is best. And since you have presented a likewise good case, you will definitely be assured that justice have been done, even if it is not for your favor.

In the process of your divorce file, it is important that you hire a Wisconsin lawyer with enough knowledge about how child custody works. It follows that after the divorce has been filed, what follows next would be the battle on who should have the custody of the children.

This is the very same reason why the Wisconsin lawyer you choose should have the expertise and experience in handling child custody cases. Take note that the decision that will be made is not on a temporary basis. It will dictate the future that your children will have for the rest of their lives. If you love your children that much, you will go through all the measures to ensure that will be put in the proper place that they deserve.

The Wisconsin child custody lawyer should know enough about certain laws that apply for certain situations. For example, there are laws that are being followed by authorities whenever a child is kidnapped by his or her parent.

The lawyer should tell the parents about those states that do not allow authorities to recover the child if he is in the hands of another parent. Knowing about these things will make the parents aware of precautions that should be taken to avoid this kind of situation from happening.

The Wisconsin child custody lawyer should also dictate the desperate steps that parents are capable of with regards to getting their children. This will evidently prepare them for any unfortunate things from happening. Anticipation is better than being surprised and frustrated when disputes occur.

A Wisconsin child custody lawyer that has the necessary experience needed in solving disputes that might arise is what you should look for. As far the reasoning is concerned, you should be aware of the things that will help you win your case, but also the things that you need to do after the case is finished. Only your Wisconsin lawyer has the capability to tell you about what and what you should not do.



PRESTON

Danny Guspie asked:


DISCLAIMER: The following is NOT legal advice, nor is it a substitute for legal advice. If you are in Family Court you will need legal advice, so please see a lawyer.

Understanding “Winning” Child Custody when you are a divorced dad requires a new way of looking at what “Winning” really means. For example, let’s say that you went to family court, spent $50,000.00 and won custody of your kids. You think “Ahhh, I’ve won.”

What if Mom drags you back into family court eight months later because she doesn’t like how you’re parenting? You’ve technically got custody of your kids, but what is that custody actually worth? Who is going to make the decision about your kids?

The judge. In effect the judge, on behalf of the government, has custody of your kids. Why is this good news for you? Even though that the majority of custody orders favor moms and designate “sole custody”, the important thing to remember is that her custody in itself is an illusion.

This means that the fight for custody is also an illusion.

Say it out loud: “Custody is an illusion.” Just keep repeating that phrase to yourself until understanding starts to sink in.

Use Mom’s desire to gain custody as a negotiating chip to get time with your child. When she is faced with getting what she wants for little cost versus having to spend a lot of money, she will likely opt for giving you what you want: TIME with your kids.

Make sure to connect time with your kids to how it benefits the kids. Don’t look at it as away to reduce child support. Get time with your kids and get that established. Pay the child support. Once that’s established, you can take a look at child support arrangements. If you fight over money, it becomes the main issue. They’ll claim that the only reason you want more time is so you can spend less on child support.

The best counter to that argument is: “By your logic, the only reason you want your kids so much is so you can use them to get that child support…” When you go back to court, you must litigate over the right issues. Be a peace maker, not a trouble maker…

BE FOCUSED: Your issue is you want time and influence with your child and it is fully possible to get that without having a custody order.

In many places custody only means the right to make:

a) Religious Decisions

b) Medical Decisions

c) Educational Decisions

d) Legal Decisions

For medical, legal and educational decisions, if there is a strong disagreement, the family court judge decides. However, a judge will generally allow both parents to participate in their religion. They will not listen to any objections because, after all, the parents knew or reasonably should have known this might have been a bone of contention when they picked each others as parenting partners.

Most times going back to Family Court is either about child support, alimony, more access time or enforcement of access time. Most divorced dads confuse custody with access or time. Recognize that having custody does not end your problems with parenting time, it only trades one set of difficulties for another.

During my divorce, I wished for a divorce roadmap. That’s why we created a weekly telewebcast, to help men like yourself.

If you’ve lost in Family Court, don’t give up. There is always hope. You’ve likely lost because you didn’t understand that winning requires effectively “waging peace” for your children.

If you base your game plan and strategies upon those of successful fathers, you will improve your chances of success immeasurably. You need help from dads who have done what you are trying to do.



TRISTAN

Low Jeremy asked:


Divorce cases have been arising in the state of Indiana. Child custody cases have also increased because it goes after finishing the process of a divorce. When the parents have decided to move in different states, they should consult an Indiana child custody lawyer to solve the child issues.

If a parent has moved in another state, a bigger issue arises as to which state they are going to apply and practice the jurisdiction. If both parents decide to get an Indiana child custody lawyer, it will not be a problem because they can handle cases properly and fairly.

An Indiana child custody lawyer carefully studies the situation and observes carefully the behavior of both parents. He will also have to look into the historical background of the parents because he might find some offensive behavior which is done in the past of an even bitter past.

He will also try to see which parent is psychologically healthy and is emotionally healthy. Sometimes, a psychological test is being applied to either parents or a parent who is doubted to have some behavioral problems.

An Indiana child custody lawyer also looks at the behavior of the child. He can make some research and questions to the child regarding his parents. An Indiana child custody lawyer can be able to ask the child his choice of parent. However, if the child decides to live with the mother, a lawyer will still have to look at the potential of the mother. For example – the environment that they will live in and the financial stability of the mother are looked upon. If the mother is not employed but the father is, chances will happen that the father will win the child custody case. The court will make sure that all the needs of the child is provided and that he will have a good accommodation as he grow up.

After the court decides, an Indiana child custody lawyer will fix the schedules such as visitation and also some of the relocation issues. When the child lives with the mother, the father will definitely have time for his child during the weekends or as to how long he may request to be with his child.

An Indiana child custody lawyer will look at the request and see if it can be approved depending on his reason and intent. An Indiana child custody lawyer makes sure that the child does not get abused by his parents. This is a major offense to the parent.

If the court finds out that a parent is beating the child, he will not surely win the custody of the child. If you are planning to get a divorce, think it out first because your children are the ones who suffer. If there’s really no way around, then get a good Indiana child custody lawyer so that your child is in good hands.

An Indiana child custody lawyer cares for the children and makes sure that they get what they deserve when it comes to love and affection. Also, an Indiana child custody lawyer sees to it that both parents have good communication with their child because it’s their right.

An Indiana child custody lawyer will also make sure that the child will have a good future by respecting joint decisions of the parents.



CECELIA

Steven Carlson asked:


Like most states, the standard for child custody determinations in California is the overall best interest of the child with an emphasis on assuring the “health, safety, and welfare” of the child and “frequent and continuing contact” with both parents absent child abuse, domestic violence, or where the contact would not be in the best interest of the child as provided in the California family code section 3011 (See California Family Code Section 3011, 3020, 3040, 3080). Further, according to California family code section 3040, child custody should be granted in an order of preference and according to the best interest of the child.

A common challenge for the court is to decide who will get custody of the child. Child custody may be petitioned by parents, grandparents, stepparents, or any person who believes they can provide suitable care and guidance to the child. So how does the California family court or a California judge handle competing persons seeking custody of the child? According to California family code section 3040, child custody should be granted in an order of preference and according to the best interest of the child. The court looks first to grant custody to both parents jointly or to either parent before looking to grant custody to other persons. California however does not currently establish a preference or a presumption for or against joint custody arrangements. Instead, it allows the California family court or California judge to make the parenting arrangement decision on a case-by-case basis according to what it believes reflects the overall best interest of the child. If neither parent is granted custody, then the court may look towards the person’s home in which the child has been living and the stability of that environment and then to any person deemed by the court to be able to provide appropriate care for the child. In short, the court will typically look to grant child custody first to the parents according the best interest of the child and if they are deemed unfit the court will then look to grant child custody to other persons according to the best interest of the child.

If you are involved in a child custody battle with the other parent, grandparent, stepparent, or any other person, you would be wise to consult a California family law attorney to help you learn where you stand legally and what your legal options are with respect to your child custody rights and visitation rights.

Copyright © 2007 Child Custody Coach



RORY

Elizabeth Ryan asked:


Child custody is one of the most difficult and emotionally charges aspects of a divorce. There are two primary types of custody, physical custody and legal custody.  Physical custody is awarded to parent with whom the child will live a majority of the time.  The custodial parent often shares legal custody of the child with the non-custodial parent. Legal custody refers to the right to make decisions about the child’s education, religion, health care, and other significant concerns. Some parents settle on a joint-custody arrangement, through which the child spends approximately an equal amount of time with both parents. The following tips offer advice about child custody and child visitation, so that you and your soon to be ex-spouse can handle these difficult issues with the least amount of emotional strain on yourselves and your children as possible.

Tip #1: Focus on your child’s or children’s best interests. This may sound overly simple, but divorce lawyer Peter Paras stresses, “In dealing with the issue of custody, it is important to know that it is the children’s best interests that are the central focus of the court’s concern.” Divorce attorney Bonny Reis agrees, stating, “One of the most important [elements of] good parenting is the ability of a parent to subordinate his or her needs to the needs of the child. Once people begin to understand that and stop seeing the child’s needs through the lens of their own feelings, they become much better parents and much better candidates for custody.” It is essential to keep your negativity toward your former spouse from damaging your child’s relationship with him or her, as well as your child’s perceptions of him or her. When it comes to deciding custody arrangements, courts tend to look favorably on parents who are respectful and cooperative during the divorce proceedings.

Tip #2: There are two ways to resolve the issue of child custody. First, the parents can reach a compromise, thereby recognizing that the children are entitled to know both of their parents and structuring the children’s future in a collaborative manner.  Second, in cases where extenuating circumstances make compromise extremely difficult or impossible, a judge will make the custody decision. Peter Paras, an experienced divorce lawyer, points out, “One of the most critical elements in deciding whether or not compromises can be reached or not is how well the parents can communicate and whether the parents have a recognition that the other parent has a right to have a relationship with the children and that the children have a right to have a relationship with both parents.”

Tip #3: Establish a fixed visitation schedule. When a court establishes visitation rights for a noncustodial parent, it usually orders reasonable visitation. In order for the reasonable visitation approach to succeed, both parents must cooperate and communicate frequently. Fixed visitation refers to the establishment of a detailed visitation schedule by the court, including the times and places for visitation with the noncustodial parent. Divorce attorney Bonny Reis favors this approach. “I feel strongly that there has to be a schedule…when you have a schedule as a default, both parents know when they can make time for themselves. To have a schedule shows that the parents respect one another and respect one another’s right to go on with their lives.” Another important beneficial result of fixed schedules is that they provide greater stability for the child. The child will know when to expect spending time with each of his or her parents, leading to healthier, more solid relationships and less tension between family members.

Divorce case involves many different types of issues, including preparing for your divorce, child support, assets and property, and alimony, all of which will be addressed in this series.

For more divorce advice, refer back to Part 1 of this series and look for the upcoming installments:

Part 1: Divorce Advice: Preparing for Your Divorce

Part 3: Divorce Advice: Child Support and Alimony

Part 4: Divorce Advice: Assets and Property Division



LEONEL

Patricia Woloch asked:


50% of families torn apart by divorce, the question of child support and child custody is major issues in many families. In most cases, one parent retains custody of one or more of the children, while the other assists with costs of rearing the children by paying child support costs.

Each state determines their own criteria for deciding support amounts. The specific needs of the family and the children involved are usually take into consideration. Some of the expenses that are considered are:

• Childcare expenses

• Heathcare expenses

• Special needs

If you are working and need to pay for daycare, those expenses are usually figured into the support amount. One parent is usually responsible for the healthcare coverage including some for out of pocket medical expenses.

The average child support that is due is around $5,500 per year with the actual paid amount hovering around $3,600 per year. Custodial mothers usually do slightly better with actually collecting on the child support payments than do custodial fathers, getting 47.3% of the amount due. Custodial fathers only receive about 46.2% that is due.

If at all possible, you should work out the custody and child support with your soon to be ex-spouse. If you are simply unable to work together, consult with an experienced divorce attorney to mediate an agreement. You are more prepared to assess the needs of your children and know what you can expect from each other. If the courts decide custody and child support it just prolongs the proceedings and makes matters worse for the children. It is important to establish a set pattern for your new life as quickly as possible.

There are different kinds of custody defined in most states.

• Physical custody

• Legal custody

• Joint custody

• Split custody

Mothers are most often awarded physical custody of the children, unless the father can prove that the mother is unfit. You and your ex-spouse are usually both awarded legal custody, which means that you can make decisions regarding legal matters for your children. Many courts do not like to award joint custody, where children are physically present with each of you in approximately equal parts.

The goal of most courts is to attempt to provide some sort of stability for the children rather than have them shuffled back and forth. Split custody is least desirable as it splits up siblings whom the court feels should be kept together.

Both parents are important in the make up of the family, but the father is often forgotten or nudged aside. A full 37% of fathers have no visitation rights. The father is a very important part in a child’s development. While you hear a lot about deadbeat dads, the fact is, most divorced fathers are good about paying child support and spending time. About 79% of fathers feel that they don’t have enough time with their children.

Children with no fathers suffer. Kids from fatherless homes account for:

• 63 percent of youth suicides

• 85 percent of children with behavioral disorders

• 71 percent of all high school dropouts

• 85 percent of all youths serving prison time

Just because you don’t get along with your spouse, doesn’t mean your kids shouldn’t. Try to be amiable towards your ex-spouse to promote as stable and nurturing an environment as possible. Both parents are necessary to provide children with the training and love necessary to be able to cope with life as they grow.



JAIME