Brad Jefferson asked:


There is no way around it; divorce is a painful process to go through. Even when the relationship has been on a downward spiral and both parties have been miserably unhappy, ending the relationship with a divorce is a tremendous loss on both sides. Many who go through a divorce will grieve the loss of the partnership in the same way one grieves for a person who has died. In some cases, more years together will result in a greater sense of loss and abandonment when the divorce takes place. For others, even the end of a newer marriage can trigger similar feelings, with grief for the loss of a companion during a divorce compounded by the shattered dreams and hopes of the life together that was anticipated. If you are currently going through a divorce, or still reeling from a separation that is now legally complete, there are people who can help.

The Divorce Process

The main person who will help you get through the divorce process itself can be your divorce attorney. Your divorce attorney will see to it that your rights are protected, your property is divided fairly and your children are well cared for. Sometimes simply knowing that your divorce is in the able hands of your attorney gives you the necessary confidence to make it through the process. Your divorce attorney can even guide you through a mediation and amicable divorce agreement so you can avoid the stress of court altogether. This is especially true if you have children involved in the process and you are concerned about whether their rights are being protected under divorce law. If you need further assistance dealing with your divorce and don’t know were to turn, your divorce attorney may also be able to point you in the direction of a competent individual who can help you work through the many negative emotions you are reeling from.

Support Groups or Group Therapy

If the pain and loss are not getting any easier after the divorce process is complete, it might be time to consider joining a support group or group therapy. There are many divorce support groups in every area of the country, so you should be able to find one that you are comfortable with and that works well with your schedule. If you are unsure where to look for these groups, you might ask your divorce lawyer that handled your divorce proceedings for a recommendation. At the very least, you may take comfort in the fact that others are experiencing similar situations. You may also get sound advice from people who have gone through the process before you and have learned methods of coping with the situation through their own experiences.

Divorce is a challenging situation that can bring up feelings of abandonment, loneliness, anger and even grief. Don’t try to go through the process alone. If you are unsure where to turn, ask your divorce attorney for assistance in getting the support you need to survive this difficult process.



STANLEY

Amelie Mag asked:


Since the second half of the 19th century, when it started to establish itself as a regular practice among married couples, divorce gradually became the norm rather than the exception in the resolution of marital conflicts. Couples are now separating for reasons that used to be considered marginal or not legitimate. The workload of the courts has increased exponentially through the addition of the numerous divorce cases and so has the activity of attorneys.

Historically, San Diego divorce attorneys used to concern themselves only with severe cases, involving physical abuse inflicted by one of the spouses upon the other. Divorce was such a rare practice that it took serious reasons to push one of the members of the couple to face the psychological trauma of the procedure, its financial costs, and the associated public ostracism. However, concurrent with the women liberation movement, spouses started to understand more and more that marriage does not have to be a life-long commitment unless it brings happiness to both partners. As a result of this process, San Diego divorce attorneys, as well as many of their peers around the United States, found themselves facing an increasing number of divorce cases initiated on the most diverse grounds.

Facing this raise in the number of marriage break-ups and the psychological difficulty of the procedure, San Diego divorce attorneys and their colleagues began thinking up ways of making the whole process more humane. Apart from advising the couples on how to deal with the legal procedures, how to address the special situation of the children of the broken home, and how to tackle the financial costs, San Diego divorce attorneys thought up alternative divorce procedures to the traditional court rulings passed by judges.

The San Diego divorce attorneys were among the first to understand the inhumanness of leaving the conditions of ending a marriage up to neutral laws and judges and attorneys that are not personally involved in the case. This is not the way to deal with years of affection, mutual cohabitation, homes and children. The San Diego divorce attorneys realized the importance of out-of-court settlements, the terms of which would be decided by the members of the divorcing couple together, assisted by their attorneys. Other alternative procedures are the “collaborative” and the “co-operative” divorce, which give the opportunity to the two spouses to work together with both lawyers and jointly build up the case.

Through promoting these types of practices, San Diego divorce lawyers managed to bring about a change of paradigm in the thinking on divorce. Just like marriage should be perceived as something that the two members of the couple do together, so should the ending of the marriage stop short of being a conflict. Aware of the difficulty of a marriage break-up, San Diego attorneys try to seek out ways of making this moment pass as harmoniously as possible, both for the couple and for their children. The San Diego divorce lawyers are also conscious that by keeping up the positive communication between the two members of the couple and their lawyers, the two parties will be able to come up with the best settlements and avoid coming back to court again.

It is perhaps time to stop perceiving divorce lawyers as hawks that are just there to take advantage of people’s troubles for profit. The case of the San Diego lawyers and their great involvement with alternative divorce settlements makes a good case for this point. Closer than anybody else to the pain and difficulties of divorce, the San Diego divorce attorneys were best positioned to come up with ways of reducing the stress. It is important that the judicial procedures, especially in such delicate areas as family law, keep changing and adjusting themselves to address the needs and sensitivities of the people. After all, the justice system exists in order to make people’s lives and cohabitation easier. The justice system is not in place to ensure its own perpetuation, but it is set up in order to protect the well being of the citizens. The efforts of the San Diego divorce attorneys in the divorce-related procedures make it seem that the justice system has not forgotten its mission.



TRACEY

David Beart asked:


Dissolving a marriage is never easy, but understanding the process can certainly help you to feel more informed. The actual degree of complexity of divorce will usually depend upon how much money and property is involved as well as whether there are children from the marriage.

First, it should be understood that there are two types of divorces. They are fault and no-fault. Prior to the 1970s most divorces were granted on a fault basis, with one spouse being found at fault of the failure of the marriage due to adultery, etc. The other spouse was then awarded the divorce on those grounds. The no-fault divorce movement grew out of couples who wished to dissolve the marriage but not place blame on one another. Under a no-fault divorce, there is no need to find fault on the part of either spouse. Through this type of divorce, the couple may agree to divorce by mutual consent. In situations where a fault divorce is granted, the issues involve may be considered in regards to child support, child custody and spousal support.

Grounds for a divorce may also be contested or uncontested. When a divorce is uncontested, both spouses agree to the divorce as well as all other issues such as child custody and property division. In this situation a property settlement agreement is reached prior to the final divorce degree. If both spouses agree on all issues, it may not even be necessary to have a lawyer prepare the settlement agreement. In the event there is some disagreement, mediation may be necessary to settle those matters.

When there is significant disagreement regarding certain issues, such as property division or child custody, each spouse typically hires a lawyer to represent them regarding the settlement negotiation. When the issues cannot be decided out of court, then the divorce is said to be contested. Contested divorces typically take much longer than uncontested divorces. A process called discovery begins the contested divorce process. The discovery process involves either mandatory or voluntary delivery of information that is needed to prepare the case of each spouse. The type of information that is typically involved includes tax and financial records.

Most judges will commonly order both spouses as well as their lawyers to meet on several occasions prior to trail in order to reach an out of court agreement. If this is not possible, then a trial will take place. Both sides have a chance to testify as well as respond to allegations, present witnesses and cross-examine the witnesses of the other side. Expert witnesses may also be called upon, including child psychologists, property appraisers, etc. At the conclusion of the trial, the judge will make a final decision regarding division of property, spousal support, child custody and child support.

The division of property will typically be based on several factors. Courts are required to adhere to state law regarding the division of property between spouses. In states which are community property states, the court must divide marital property equally between spouses. Marital property includes all property as well as income that is acquired during the marriage. Property that was brought into the marriage by one or the other spouse is not included. In addition, any property that was given as a gift to one spouse only is not divided. Community property states include Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin.

All courts are required to take the best interest of the child into consideration when determining child custody. A variety of factors may apply, including the child’s wishes, who has been the primary caretaker of the child in the past, the quality of the parent-child relationship, the physical and mental health of the parent and the child, etc.

Generally, the parent that does not receive custody will be ordered to pay a child support amount that is set by the court. A standard schedule is usually utilized for determining the amount of child support.

Do-it-yourself divorces can be utilized in instances where the divorce is uncontested and there are no serious issues such as property division or child custody to consider. These types of divorces are usually utilized when the couple has not been married very long and there is no property or children involved.

It should be considered that in some states a specified period of legal separation must be met before the court will issue a decree of divorce. This amount of time ranges from state to state and may be anywhere from six months up to three years.

Understanding the requirements for divorce as it applies to your specific situation and state can make the process of getting divorced a bit easier to endure. It is always a good idea to seek out professional legal advice from an attorney specializing in divorce and family law when you are considering a divorce or a legal separation.



HUBERT

Pammy1 asked:


My lawyer just file a motion for me to regain custody of my children. The papers were sent to my ex-husband’s lawyer. Is his lawyer suppose to repond to the motion? And if so, is their a time frame for her to respond to the motion? I am not sure of the steps.

ROCKY

Jack Smith asked:


You may think that a divorce is just a matter of detaching yourself from someone that you used to be married to before. While this is true, it is also that a divorce can be a very painful process. If you think it is not why do not you try detaching your hand from your body? Your shuddering thats exactly how divorce should make you feel like you’re cutting a part of you away.

The effects of a divorce are varied and many depending on the people involved and the situation. They include;

Self centeredness:

Being a self centered person can drive your friends far away from you. When you talk only about yourself all the time and you don’t bother to inquire about how they are doing, you will no doubt be without friends soon.

Change of status:

When you get divorced, your status automatically changes. You become single again and that means no more double toilet sinks, or double beds, or double coffee mugs. It’s just you, yourself and well, you.

Divorce costs:

You will be faced with the prospect of spending money on several things during a divorce proceeding. The divorce lawyer’s fees, the real estate developer’s fees and a host of other fees will have to be taken into cognizance before a divorce proceeding starts.

Alimony payments:

If you are a man in the middle of a divorce, you will be expected to arrange alimony for your ex wife. This means that you are expected to support your wife through out her lifetime. This is usually the case as the law recognizes the woman’s needs and believes in equality.

Child custody:

Child custody is a vital aspect of the divorce that you should be aware of. You and your spouse will need to come to a decision about who takes the kids.

New life:

Expect things to be very different once you are through with a divorce. You will be single again and that will not be the same thing as being married.

Moving on:

You will need to move on with your life and adjust to all the changes a divorce will bring.

Location change:

Depending on who got the house, you may have to move away from your marital home and find yourself a new home.

Kids psychology:

No matter how hard they may be to hide it, kids are affected by your divorce. You may have to take your kids to see a child psychologist in order to prevent any psychological condition from occurring.

Shopping:

You won’t shop for two anymore after a divorce. You will save money because you will end up spending less than you used to and that can be good, depending on how you look at it.

Fear:

Fear is the most common effects a divorce can have on anyone. Fear can result from loss, anger, frustration and even unforgiveness. Combating fear after a divorce will be your main problem. You will have to believe that you can make it alone.

Low self esteem:

A divorce can cause you to have a low self esteem. A divorce makes you doubt yourself and struggle with insecurities and feelings of worthlessness. Talking with shrink can help you handle these emotions. As I mentioned earlier, the effects of a divorce vary from person to person. What maybe negatively impactful for you maybe positive for another person.



KENNITH

James Walsh asked:




Such self appointed arbitrators of moral values and ethics believe that it is their duty to protect the bothersome legal procedures existing in our domestic law that pretend to save the so-called sanctity of marriage. No heed is paid to the marital issue in question and the circumstances governing it.

Historical Perspective

One major reason for this dilemma is the interference of religious ethics in the emerging social issues. During the Roman times, family and marriage came within the ambit of comprehensive state laws with no religious or mystical appendages tagged to them. The establishment of Roman Catholic Church in Europe was marked by an increased interference of the Church in personal and family matters.

Though Protestant reformation in the 1500s supported the bifurcation of the Church and legal matters, still, the Anglican Church carried on with the policies of its Catholic predecessors. So strong was the grip of the clergy in domestic affairs that between 1669 and 1850, only 229 divorces were granted in England.

But now, the time has come to accept that we are a modern, secular society and to sort out the complications created by religious influences in domestic law. Tyrannical divorce laws can no more be tolerated.

Divorce and Accompanying Hassles

Any individual who has faced a contested divorce suit is painfully aware of the fact that legal procedures are always accompanied by massive expenditures in terms of time, money and efforts. Lawyers and judges are seldom concerned about the emotional state of people involved in such a feud and their sense of justice compels them to focus on the more logical issues such as alimony, custody, visitation and division of assets. The irony is that two adult people can sort out these issues in a much more amicable atmosphere, without going through the bother of attending court proceedings. The only impediment in the way of this streamlined approach is the arcane and strict divorce law that is in effect.

Uncountable numbers of lawyers are earning their livelihood through people facing marital problems and a whole industry has developed around such a personal issue called divorce. Even friendly spouses are forced into leveling charges and faults against each other to satisfy the tough legal requirements for getting a divorce. Large amounts of money are wasted in procuring decisions about one’s personal life. People often go bankrupt while pursuing a bitterly contested divorce suit. Do we still have to continue with such nonsense in the name of the law? Does it make any sense to enforce such legal modalities in such a private and sensitive matter as divorce?

Women and Children

It is especially difficult for women who are being divorced to manage the entire affair and not be short-changed. The sense of hurt generated by a divorce situation is further worsened by the mandatory legal hassles. The scars left by a hotly contested divorce suit make the possibility of a successful post divorce rehabilitation and positive co parenting almost impossible. Children have to bear with the consequences of unwholesome domestic affairs in the form of lengthy court hearings. Many a time, they are ****** into the divorce case, giving testimony. The existing divorce laws should be restructured to be in line with the latest developments in the area of conflict resolution and child psychology.

Special Issues

Special marital scenarios marked by emotional abuse, violence, drug addiction and alcoholism do deserve speedy justice in the courts of law. Practically it has been seen that months are spent in establishing and proving the charges against an abusive spouse, resulting in untold suffering and harassment for the victim. Had the existing divorce laws been rational and pragmatic, a lot of victimized spouses would have been saved the trauma of bearing with an abuser because of legal glitches. Justice delayed is justice denied. Hence such stringent divorce laws amount to the denial of justice.

Conclusion

Divorce laws should certainly be made easier and more relaxed so that people who want to split can do it quickly, efficiently and with their dignity intact. A divorce is supposed to be a solution to a problem. What is the fun of continuing with the laws that make the divorce procedure in itself a big problem?



RACHAEL

Angie B asked:


What are the Smart things for a mother to ask for in reasonable visitation for mother and father i know im asking for residential custody and i know schooling rights i just dont want to get jipped outta seeing my child for 90 days at a time! what are things i should ask for and things that throw out warning signs from the other half. Thank you by the way child is 5m in age and breastfed father is leaving for college soon he’ll come back on weekends.

RANDAL

WhiteRye asked:


My ex is having my child and we decided it would be best if we didn’t get married. We discussed what we’re going to do and we decided that it would be best if I had custody of our child since I have a good paying job and I could give her everything she needs.
The thing is we both have no idea where to start to transfer custody from her to me since we were never married. How soon does it have to get done? What has to be done? And how long does it usually take?
The child will be born in Wisconsin by the way, I don’t know if that changes anything.

MOISES

James Walsh asked:


DIY Divorce’s Cost vs. High Street Lawyer’s Fee

One of the main reasons why people are opting for DIY divorces is the exorbitant fee of any high street solicitor. The English law does not require the people to hire the services of a lawyer to defend the case. Most people realise that courtroom battles and endless meetings with the attorneys only create more bitterness and complications. Therefore, couples are increasingly opting for settling their disputes themselves and want a quick and dignified split.

If you were to cut down the costs of a divorce lawyer, a divorce is likely to cost only a few hundred pounds. However, if you hire a divorce lawyer, typically the fee will range from £2000 for a simple divorce case to £10,000 for complex divorce cases. Typically, if you were to consider the divorce process as a family expense, you are likely to save up to £4000-5000 per spouse.

Considering that you will have to settle your financial obligations after the divorce and the other expenses that a divorce entails, that’s a lot of money. Therefore, people are increasingly opting for the DIY divorce route and defending their own cases. Most DIY websites provide a complete list of forms and people find it very easy to download these forms and fill it out on their own.

Opening up a Personal DIY Divorce Services Online Company

With so many people opting for a DIY divorce option, it is a good business proposition to introduce a personalised online DIY divorce service company. However, with so much competition in the market, it will be essential to differentiate yourself from your competitors.

Industry Analysis

Your first step should be to conduct an industry analysis. It is critical to understand the market dynamics. It would be good to conduct extensive research on what kind of companies are already existing in the market, what is their product offering, what is the fee charged for their services, and what is their USP.

Customer Analysis

It is very important to understand your customer. Therefore, you would need to analyse what is your target audience. For example, it might be that people in their twenties and thirties opt for DIY divorce whereas people in their forties and above still opt for the traditional route. Understand what the customer requirement areas that are not being fulfilled currently are.

What Kind of Features, Services and Packages can be Provided to Customers?

Most of the DIY divorce companies allow the customers to download the divorce forms so that the customer can fill up their details and submit the forms in the court. However, it would be a good idea to get the details of the customers from them and fill the form on their behalf. This way, the chances of any legal irregularities in the form can be greatly avoided. For example, a customer may cite an inappropriate irreconcilable difference for breakdown of marriage. Due to this, the divorce plea may get rejected. This situation can be completely avoided if the legal experts fill the form and then have the customer validate it. Separate packages can be offered for divorce, divorce and clean break, and a clean break order.

The Element that will be Critical to the Success of the Business

It is important to understand that when people are going through a divorce, they are in need of legal as well as emotional support. Therefore, thorough understanding the customer’s emotional as well as legal needs will be critical in achieving a market standing.

Advertising Strategy,/b>

Since the target audience is an audience that is primarily seeking advice and doing research about divorce online, websites should be the selected advertisement media. Google Sponsored Links would be the best place to advertise. That way, when a person searches for divorce related information, the company’s services profile would come up automatically.

How to Compete With the Other Players in the Market. What will be the USP of the New Company?

DIY service companies in the market currently are only focusing on the legal aspect of the divorce. There is another aspect, which is completely ignored by the players in the market. That crucial aspect is emotional support. A company is bound to form a lifelong customer if it is able to bond with the customers emotionally. Therefore, the USP of the new company should be to offer psychological advice along with legal advice. There should be separate professional counsellors who can help the people overcome their fears and doubts surrounding the divorce process. The company should also be able to suggest support groups for people going through a divorce to help them understand that they are not the only ones going through this terrible time.



KELLY

dummyIam asked:


Curious if sexually explicit photos have a mother having a 3 some even if she doesnt do it anymore help the father get custody of his kids. The photos were prior to his kids but had a 4 year old at the time. Photos were taken on weekends she didnt have child?

LOLA