dee asked:


We are getting a divorce and the father has snatched two of the kids already and I still am breastfeeding the baby so I have him. My ex turned the electric and heat off without telling me. We go to court soon, is that going to look bad on him? I hope so because he obviously doesn’t care and is acting like he does.

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20 Responses to “How does it look to a judge when in a divorce the father turns power and gas off in home where newborn resides”

1. Heather Honey on May 17th, 2009 6:14 am

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   oh yea, the judge is not going to like that. there could be some serious repercussions for him.

2. OfficeMom on May 18th, 2009 2:23 pm

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   I think it will look bad—

   was it in his name? maybe he should have told you so that you could at least have the chance to change it to your name.

3. King Richard on May 20th, 2009 7:21 am

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   Holy moses!!!! All I’ll say here is it will sooo not look good for him.

4. Holbrook on May 22nd, 2009 12:54 am

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   It’s not that bad…you should have had them turn on in your name…I made the mistake of leaving the power in my name with my ex and she never paid the bill…then she won the house in the divorce…was suppose to get the loan for it because it was in my name…then quit paying on it without me knowing it…he is just protecting his own interests…why could you not have it turn on in your name?

5. Andrew on May 22nd, 2009 8:06 am

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   he is a negligent parent and that will be added as a charge

6. sam s on May 22nd, 2009 9:40 am

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   yeh def the judge may see it as if he is preventing proper care to that child then will he be able to provide for the other two responsibly…

7. G.V. on May 22nd, 2009 7:57 pm

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   Let him keep doing stupid stuff like that. He will self-destruct. You won’t have to do a thing to have an advantage over him in the divorce proceedings.

8. sensible_man on May 23rd, 2009 10:09 am

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   Sounds strange to me but then I don’t know all of the story. It will not help him in court. Since you are not divorced yet, I would ask for a temporary injunction to get the utilities turned back on.

9. Fonz on May 25th, 2009 6:30 pm

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   I’m thinking that there might be more to this than you were able to put in your question. Yes, the Judge will probably roast him

10. Cilla on May 26th, 2009 2:16 pm

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    I feel really sorry for you, but you must remember the children are both yoursa nd his, this wont look too good on him in court, but it wont look good on you if you resent him and show immaturaty, you need to act as if you dont mind him seeing the children, and that you are annoyed about him turning the electric off but you wont show it to the children, because they are the ones that are caught up in all of this and need you to be strong more than ever right now, i do wish you the best of luck

11. dancer_4ever on May 27th, 2009 11:12 pm

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    Wow! Yeah, that is going to look really really bad to the Judge. I am sorry to hear that he has the other two children. Are they old enough to tell you if the Father is treating them bad at all? I would try to find out if you can. I would use any and all of my powers in the world to try to get my children back. I hope it all pays off in the end!

    Good Luck!

12. Helen M on May 31st, 2009 10:42 am

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    I expect that will look bad to the judge, but so will a hostile, aggressive attitude between the two of you.

    Forget making your partner look bad. He sounds as if he can do that all on his own without any help from you.

    Instead, focus on presenting a dignified and reasonable face to the world. Let the judge know that however angry and abandoned you feel, the only thing you are interested in is getting a fair settlement for yourself and your children, so that you can bring them up with dignity and comfort and so that they don’t have to feel like footballs in a game between you and their father.

    Your poor children are in a bad situation as it is. Don’t make it worse for yourself and for them by losing your dignity and trying to score points off their father. Keep your cool, don’t descend to his level. That way the judge will see that you’re not an unreasonable, vindictive or greedy woman, just a mother trying to do her best for her family in a bad situation.

    I wish you luck.

13. Serena on June 2nd, 2009 1:12 am

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    It will look bad. Make sure you have all the documentation. What a jerk.

14. firebird on June 3rd, 2009 7:52 am

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    What a complete a** he does not deserve to be a father and the judge will get him good luck to you

15. lawdnich on June 6th, 2009 2:59 pm

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    very;he is angry at you ,so he,s playing these mind games,in the end thou he will lose big time,in the mean time you get on your feet sister and get your act together;good luck

16. S1212 on June 9th, 2009 12:17 pm

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    That looks bad, real bad. My ex did that to me with our 2 children. He turned off all utilities in Feb. The judge will see that he’s got alterior motives. He won’t fool anyone. The judge saw right through my ex. For the most part, my ex has gotten NOTHING in his favor in court. He just keeps digging himself deeper and deeper. Keep a journal of anything that goes on prior to court. If you have an attorney, review it with them before court. If not, review it with the Family Services Probation Officer. There is always an advocate to help you, you shouldn’t have to do it alone.

17. dough boy johnson on June 9th, 2009 3:45 pm

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    well sounds like you did somthing to **** him off bad. you must have been sleeping around for him to do somthing like that. when a man gets pissed like that look out. i realy dont think he cares what a judge thinks and if a judge did care he would pay your bills insted of letting the loyer take you money.
    the judges just wont to get the cases in and out as fast as they can. they see so much of this all day. in the end the loyer walks away rich and both people are just poor and pissed.

18. lodger on June 12th, 2009 6:37 am

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    If you don’t want him hurt..tell him to put the heat back on…otherwise he is going to have a big problem in court..and won’t be allowed to have the other kids either….child abuse….he will have supervised visits only….he is playing with fire..trust me..on this subject…he is in the wrong….
    Advice to the mother: document everything that happens….phone calls=times, dates, and what is said….events=heat turned off, yelling at you, times and dates, etc…and you will be provided for…not a problem….if you come without a lawyer, then it looks better towards the court that you are hurting for money too…wear older clothes, but make them neat…not wrinkles…no make up, and your set…answer the questions from the judge honestly……and you will not have to worry…..
    My ex did this to me, but I did not do anything to her but argue…she couldn’t do much I thought, but she tried….although I did come out good, since I did provide for my children, and didn’t try to harm them at all…but took them places, and played with them….if you don’t care what happens to the father, then do write down things…but if you still care and they are your children’s father, then warn him ahead of time………..but if he doesn’t listen, he is digging his own grave……God Bless!
    But remember one thing; if your mad at the father, don’t involve the children over your being mad…think of the children all the time, dont’ think of hurting the father……that will affect the kids later…..trust me…

19. aaron on June 12th, 2009 7:22 pm

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    the judge will c that justice is done .so dont worry unnecessarily .God bless u yur kids

20. pilgrim travler on June 14th, 2009 11:19 pm

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    I’m not sure we have the whole story here. How does one just snatch two kids and why did he feel he needed to do that? We don’t know any of the reasons. I tend to agree with Holbrook. It sounds like you’re trying to make a bigger deal out of this to gain some advantage. It is a tragedy that the kids are always the victims. If you are responsible enough to have had three children, surely you can get your utilities back on. I hope for the kids sake, you can work this out to their advantage, whatever that may be. Using them for weapons against the other parent is not loving behavior toward them. good luck, peace