Arthur Turner asked:


course, extremely painful when two people drift apart. The fact that there are little lives involved makes it just so much harder. It is therefore imperative that you do your best to secure the best possible child custody agreements if you are divorcing or separating. Saying that it is important is one thing, actually achieving such an outcome is a different matter altogether.

The law stipulates that child custody agreements should be drawn up with the best interests of the child(ren) in mind. This is all well and good and no one would disagree with this as a guiding principle. The problem is, however, that parents very often have diametrically opposed views of the different scenarios that will serve the best interests of their children. If you are at present engaged in thinking through the options for custody arrangements you should ensure that you have a strategy in place for achieving the goal of serving the best possible interests of your children. Here are a few very basic things that you should do:

* Study some of the basic concepts underpinning child custody agreements: The legal background to custody cases can very often be totally bewildering for parents. You should of course get legal help, you cannot however leave everything in the hands of your attorney. Knowing some basic things, like the different types of custody arrangements, the standards that the court will use to decide custody, how to those standards will be applied etc., can greatly assist in the midst of the process. It will not only enable you to make intelligent decisions throughout the process, it will also clearly show up the areas where you should focus your attention.

* Get the best possible legal representation: If you do decide to contest the child custody arrangements in court you should make sure that you get the best possible attorney on side. Family Law is a complex and specialised area. Try to avoid therefore to get ‘uncle Bob from down the street’, and hire a recognised expert.

* Do your best to remain calm, prepared and organised:Please ensure that you approach the steps towards obtaining the best possible child custody agreements as a major life assignment with definite goals and milestones. Doing it in an almost businesslike manner will prevent you from viewing the whole thing as an all-out emotional battle. ‘Slugging it out’ may perhaps be emotionally cathartic but it is no way to approach some of the most important work that you will ever have to do in your life.

The above is obviously the merest outline of some of the things that will be necessary in order to achieve the best possible child custody agreements. Bottom line: Do your best to understand the process, get the best possible people on side and approach the process in a professional way.

May your children’s best interests indeed be served by the way in which you approach this difficult time in your life!



MURIEL

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