CNM asked:


I did not have a good marriage. After my husband left for the second time, I decided to move on. I know I deserve someone who wants to be with me, even in the most difficult of times. He didn’t want to change his ways until I filed for the divorce. As bad as it was, and as much as I know there is better out there, why does it still hurt so bad?

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6 Responses to “Is it normal to grieve after a divorce even if the marriage was bad?”

1. Designer~Wife on August 2nd, 2009 5:00 am

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   It’s very normal. You are grieving the end of the marriage - Even a bad marriage usually had a hopeful beginning of everlasting love.

   Take your time and grieve, then look forward to the day that you meet the person that you WILL have everlasting love with.

2. mimjoy on August 3rd, 2009 11:15 am

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   yes as you know its now the end of a relationship you had had hopes for.

3. Happy-2 on August 6th, 2009 2:13 pm

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   When you divorce, not just your relationship dies, but also your dreams, hopes, plans, and aspirations for that relationship. Yes, it is natural to grieve. Divorce is one of the most traumatic things that can happen to a person in her life. Spend some of your grieving time thinking about the choices you made in this relationship, where it went wrong, how you could have known better, and/or what you could have done differently. Learning the lessons that the failure of your marriage have to teach you can go a long way in moving along the grief process.

4. ladyren on August 9th, 2009 7:46 am

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   We grieve for what we THOUGHT he was, and what he HOPED we’d both become. And we trick ourselves since most of us wish to see only the best in another person. What was real, and what he imagined are often different… And as well, we grieve that me made such a horrid mistake, and that it didn’t work, no matter what we did or ow hard we tried.

   If that is going to go on for along time, get some counseling to shorten your recovery time. Life is toooo short to sit in one’s beer and feel sad..

5. Raul L. on August 10th, 2009 2:15 am

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   It hurts because of the good times y’all had, especially when y’all started seeing each other at the beginning. I like your attitude about putting your foot down since he didn’t want to change. We need more people like you. Keep searching for the right one. I went through the same road that you went through. (3 years this May). I found someone better. Hang in there. If I can do it, I know you can also. Good luck.
   By the way, I truly believe that the Lord wants me to type a prayer for you. Here it is. Lord I pray that you will help me find the right man. I trust you that you will meet my needs. I thank you for answering my prayer. and I give you all the praise, glory, and honor. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
   Get ready for a miracle in your life. God bless you.

6. canuck1950 on August 12th, 2009 4:21 pm

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   A divorce is quite similar to a death, you have lost part of your life, and whether it was good or bad, it is still a loss. Until you Grieve, and Heal you need to stay out of any serious relationships. Should you fall in Love before the process is complete you are doomed to repeat, you will fall for someone quite similar to your ex (the last thing you need). Take your time, up to two years, to deal with this and learn to Value and Love yourself before trying to Love someone else. It took me 2 Divorces before I heeded my own advice, but I finally got it right. I have been divorced for over 7 years, I am just now entering a serious relationship and it feels GREAT, I am not dependent upon them to validate me, or make me whole, they are in my life to ADD to it, and it feels GREAT.