pussnboots333 asked:


I want to file for sole custody. My ex does not see the baby at all. I even made an attempt to go over to is family’s restaurant so at least his mom could see him. He caled me and said he was too busy and do not come over there. He has visitation on weekends, but I was willing to work with him on other times. He does not respond. What would you do? I’m fed up with trying to be nice about this.

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4 Responses to “If I file for sole custody of my child, does that mean he gives up child support?”

1. neodracolith on December 7th, 2009 4:51 pm

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   Sole custody only means you get to make all of the decisions, he still has to pay.

2. blessed2bstressedby4 on December 10th, 2009 5:26 am

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   You can try to file for sole custody but usually if the father asks at all for visitation then he gets it. Assuming he is a fit parent anyway. Dont deprive the kid of a father. If he is sending child support then just live your life like he doesnt exist. If he isnt in the way then whats the harm. One day your child will wander where daddy is and it would be a shame if he resents you for making the attempt of pushing him out of the childs life. If he still has visitation then its just his fault for not using them. You would get child support though if you had sole custody. The only way you wouldnt is if he signed away his rights completely. Even then unless there is another man (stepdad) adopting, he would probably have to pay.

3. Rebecca L on December 12th, 2009 10:57 pm

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   You need to check with a good family law lawyer in your area. Where I live you can terminate a father’s parental rights for abandonment (not visiting the child) and he will still have to pay child support. You probably are already the custodial parent so I doubt it would be difficult to get the parental rights removed if he truly doesn’t visit the child.

   Edit - Blessed2, not to be confrontational, but a father ignoring his child is a strong warning that he will not be a fit parent to that child — ever. My grandson’s father ignored his son until he was 5 months old and the state made him start paying child support. Then he tried to get overnight visitations with an infant because he was the child’s father. (Yes, that was his entire case — thank God the Judge told him father or not, he was a stranger and needed to get to know his son before any talk of overnight visitations would happen.) Well, my grandson was then ignored until he was 3 years old. Daddy once again came into his son’s life. My daughter told him this was his last chance with his son, if he didn’t follow through she’d have parental rights removed. Unfortunately he did follow through. After two years of intermittent bouts of negelect we finally had to halt all visitations because the father simply couldn’t master the concept that it was his job to protect his own son. His wife actually abused the boy, he had an accidental cigarette burn on his arm that they ignored because they never looked closely enough at it to realize it was a 2nd degree burn, and his mom had to take off from work on a Monday after a weekend visit because his father decided not to have his ears checked, even though my daughter informed him that he needed to see the doctor. If a man ignores his child as a baby there’s a good chance he’ll be a liability in his child’s life. Far better for Mom to say no and protect her child from physical and emotional pain than to wait until later.

4. mystic_eye_cda on December 13th, 2009 10:49 pm

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   Yes if you terminate the father’s rights he no longer has to pay support, which is why the courts will not agree to this in most cases.

   I know one woman whose husband was convicted of sexually abusing one of her children and the courts would not terminate his rights because the children deserve what little financial support they get from him. However when/if he ever gets out of jail he still wouldn’t get visitation

   Remember that the courts look at the best interest of the child and even if you can afford to raise this child on your own there is no question that the extra money and added safety net of support is still in the benefit of the child.