Lucky asked:


The mothers house is absolutely filthy, with roaches and an unclean monkey. The mother pawns him off on everybody, while I would have somebody to take care of him permanently. We are not married yet but plan to do so. I don’t know whether the mother uses the child support money I give her for the things he needs. Today she asked for twenty dollars extra so she could get him some new clothes when I bought him clothes just last week. I will add more details later, but believe me when I say the place is filthy. I am on probation for a drug charge currently. I make more money than she does, and she is diagnosed as bi-polar. Please help!
(I am actually writing this for the father, who is my significant other - which explains why my avatar is female. I will be the one to take care of the boy while he works.)

Caffeinated Content

10 Responses to “Can I take custody of my child if I am on probation for a drug charge?”

1. kris17 on December 9th, 2009 8:20 am

   Caffeinated Content for WordPress

   No. The courts most likely will take the child away from both parents if that’s really the condition of the mother’s home.

2. spoiled bratt on December 10th, 2009 12:51 am

   Caffeinated Content

   yes he can ask for custody for the boy, but he has to remain clean so when they ask him for a drug test he doesn’t have anything to hide. he needs evidence of what you are saying about the woman tho.

   spoiled bratt

3. bonesplintbassist on December 10th, 2009 3:08 pm

   Caffeinated Content

   unfortunitly (sp) the drug charge will definitly not help you in the case but there are other ways around it like getting pictures of the house witness’ or any other ways to prove she is a unfit parent, the courts are 80% more likely to give custody to the mother in any case unless proven that the mother is unfit (dirty house drugs drinking ) ect but with the father having a drug charge will defintly be the mothers lawyers 1st bite into the case probably making it sound WAY worse then it is…but get a good lawyer get pictures get testomony and good luck.

4. megan_bellanger on December 14th, 2009 2:59 am

   Caffeinated Content for WordPress

   No, and I am sorry to say that because I give you major respect for wanting the best for your son. If the mother of your child is sought to be unfit, then she to will might have to go to court in a legal dispute. Let the court know of the conditions of the home. If you really want custody of your son, you might consider you parents to take on guardianship of him. Good Luck.

5. micki_g on December 16th, 2009 1:47 am

   Caffeinated Content

   You say your child Are you the child’s legal guardian? Your profile shows you as female. If you have a legitimate legal right as in you are biological or adoptive parent, and some how this other parent has custody, as long as custody hasn’t been determined yet by the court you can file. If custody has been determined than you have to call your local dcys every time you see the house in such a nasty condition, and every time the child is left in danger. they will step in and investigate. if the child is removed, than as the other parent you have the right to take custody as the child is supposed to go to next of kin before any other option. If you really want to make sure your case is solid than make sure when you are at the house in that condition that you take pics, like with a picture phone. If you have access to the child’s school go there, talk to the guidance counselor about the home conditions so that they can keep a closer eye on the child’s condition. Any one who is around the child and notices substantial neglect or abuse is required by law to report it, especially Dr’s, nurses, teachers, day care workers…ect. If it is found that any were aware of the childs conditon and di’nt act they can be held resposible for failyor to act. You have to have proven you are not a danger to the child to take custody.

6. marlenadunn on December 18th, 2009 7:16 pm

   Caffeinated Content

   First of all, a filthy house will not get a child taken into custody of ANY state agency. Second of all, a drug charge will not help, no. But, it is actually very simple. Who is more stable? Who is more capable of giving the child more time(mom or dad, not stepmom)? You see, my ex-husband has residential custody of my 6 year old son. Not only does he have drug charges, but several aggravated assault felonies. How did this happen? I have 4 other child, one who is disabled and the judge thought that his dad could give him more one on one time than I could. That is the ONLY reason he has him. Fortunately, we are battling custody because of other factoring circumstances and a 6 year old doesn’t need someone teaching him how to go to prison.

7. I'm Hope on December 18th, 2009 9:21 pm

   Caffeinated Content for WordPress

   The father’s situation is not unique. Most of the parents charged with drug abuse will look for something bad on the other parent and call them unfit for payback or for fear of losing custody of the child. Sometimes, they just feel the need to prove themselves. If the father has a good heart and is not vengeful and has already been given custody of the child, I say, he better just be grateful (considering that he has a drug charge) and shut up. Why?? Because the person that’s gotta get hurt is the son.

   Unfit Mother + Unfit Father = Foster Home. Because of the parents bickering, the child will be taken into custody and live at some foster home. What could be worse than that? Unless that’s what the father’s significant other wants. That would be mean and cold-hearted.

   Maybe the mother’s home is dirty because she had to work hard all by herself. Could also be caused by her manic-depression (bi-polar). I do not know the mother and cannot really judge her but bi-polar is treatable. Drug abuser is worse than a bi-polar. Sorry if that hurts…

8. kittee on December 21st, 2009 12:06 pm

   Caffeinated Content for WordPress

   LUCKY, IT SOUND AS IF YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN TAKE THE CHILD FROM THE MOTHER AND YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND CANNOT DUE TO HIM BEING ON PROBATION FOR DRUGS AND JUST BECAUSE THE MOTHERS HOME IS DIRTY IS NOT A REASON TO REMOVE HIM FROM THE MOTHER UNLESS IF SHE WAS UNFIT. ARE YOU BOTH JUST MAD BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT.

9. trying2bhelpful on December 24th, 2009 4:26 am

   Caffeinated Content for WordPress

   Unfortunately, your chances are slim even without the drug charges.

   My fiance and I are in a very similar situation, and our lawyer has told us not only that it would cost about $10K to try, but that the chances are still slim…and my fiance doesn’t have drug charges.

   You can try calling child services on her (you can do this anonymously) but all they told us was that if the kids are fed and have clothes on their back and aren’t being abused, there is nothing they will do. They said just because OUR idea of well taken care of was different from hers didn’t mean she wasn’t capable of caring for her kids.

   My suggestion is this, start PLANNING to try. Start a journal. Write down EVRYTHING. Phone conversations, extra money you give her, take pictures of the house if you can, and record all the times YOU care for the children or that you know she has pawned them off on other people. (I have a calendar showing all the days and nights my fiance’s children are left with people instead of being with their mother). ANYTHING to make her look bad.

   Build your case. Invest in this book if you can…?%5Fencoding=UTF8v=glancen=283155

   And you may need to wait until you are married unless the mother also has a live-in boyfriend. Technically living together unmarried is considered immoral, and courts will hold that against an otherwise wonderful parent. I’m not saying it will make or break the case, but it is a strike against you.

   Cases like ours show just have ridiculus the court system is. Fathers get all the blame even when they are trying to care for their children. Just wait until you try to say she’s a bad mother, you will catch all kinds of crap.

   Good luck to your b/f and good luck to you. If only you had a clue how much crap you are going to have to put up with from this woman for the rest of your life! But sometimes its worth it. I deal with it. Xanax helps, but I deal with it.

10. shygirl on December 25th, 2009 4:47 am

    Caffeinated Content

    Actually you can get custody, you will need proof that you are working really hard to clean up your life and that the child would be better of with you. Everyone makes mistakes but legally they can’t stop you from being a parent. just mind your P’s q’s. and show the jugde that you are the best person for the job. Get a lawyer. Be ready to get drug tested when you go to court. Judges always try to do whats best for kids usually that means stay with mom, but sometimes they have to pick betwwen the lesser of 2 evils. A mom that neglects her child or a dad on probation. where would u put that child?